Travels with Kila: February 2007

The Secret

A few months ago my friend Tracy mentioned a movie she had seen, oddly enough I had just heard about the movie from another person... the secret... I am sure many of you have heard about this movie and laws of attraction. Waking up in a good mood, believing that things will happen the way you want them to. So I thought to myself... "Myself this can't hurt, so give it a try". It has been two weeks now and oddly enough I feel like I have willed a few things to happen, who knows but it has been fun none the less...

The movie even discussed attracting negative situations, people or things into your life by thinking about them too much.

Which reminded me of the book Peace is Every Step and what it used to say about slowing down and having peaceful thoughts.

Which then made me think about a forward from my mother about forgiveness and not having anger or hate in your heart, and giving and loving.

So then I was watching TV and two characters were discussing the fact that one would think they would be friends but because of certain circumstances they were not and probably never would be. I have this odd need to try and win people over, make them like me. One character said to the other, but I thought we would be friends we are so much alike to which the other responded maybe in another universe but not in this one so lets make peace with knowing that and maybe it won't be so weird anymore. I thought that was brilliant.

A few days later I had some work done at my house and someone I knew many years ago did the work. We had a wonderful conversation to which he said I am surprised we weren’t better friends back then, I had no idea this is who you were. To which I responded that is the beauty of life that one can keep evolving and growing and nobody has to stay who they were unless they want to.

And again talking to a friend on the phone and reminiscing about life and friends and how lucky we are to have the kind of friends that know you, know who you are in your core. Know if you are hurting or happy without saying a word; know that when you tease them there is no malicious intent.

Which reminded me of the four agreements...

Be Impeccable With Your Word

This means avoiding gossip, lies, empty promises and other ways we cause problems with our words. Say only what you mean, and realize that you can cause damage if you're not careful with what you say.

Don’t Take Anything Personally

This 'agreement' deals with understanding how other people's behaviors are a reflection of them only. When someone gives us feedback about us, it's important to remember that no opinions are truly objective; we all have our biases, 'filters' through which we view the world, and the like. Because of this, we shouldn't take anyone else's view of us or our actions as entirely accurate; when someone says something about us (or anything else), they're really saying something about themselves and how they view the world.

Don’t Make Assumptions

Much stress is created when people assume they know what other people are thinking without checking with them. Understanding that other people might have different motivations for their actions, even drastically varying worldviews, and remembering to really try to understand others and discuss these motivations before jumping to conclusions about their behavior, can go a long way toward preventing interpersonal conflict.

Always Do Your Best

To do the best you can at any given moment, and you'll have no regrets. Some days, your best isn't as good as other days, and that's okay. As long as you put an honest effort into life, you will have nothing to be ashamed of, and will not 'beat yourself up' over a less-than-stellar performance in retrospect.

I used to keep these on my desk in Austin, right in front of me, so that I could read them every day... Which then reminded me of something that was read about my grandfather and how it started out with the line "in a world of reckless selfishness..."

Which made me think... Are we all selfish? Are we all recklessly selfish, and those thoughts lead me to what he used to say...

Some of my best friends are bums, as long as I know they are bums and they know that I know they are bums...

That echoed in my mind while I also thought about with what my grandmother told me a week and a half ago and some quotes she mentioned by Eleanor Roosevelt...

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." and "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

I also came across another quote that seemed to fit my mood at the moment...

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the question themselves, as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, some day far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." –Rilke